Meditative Lullaby

When I’m having trouble falling asleep because worries and fears are sounding off in my head like an alarm clock, I try first listing all the things I did that day that deserve some recognition: I had a healthy breakfast, I fed some thirsty looking dogs water, I complimented a stranger on her outfit… Then I list all the positive things that happened to me that day that I did nothing to cause: there was a lovely cool breeze all day, the man in front of me in line at the post office invited me to jump ahead of him because I was holding heavy boxes, I wasn’t slowed down by any traffic on the way home… Thinking of these things I’m grateful for both because of and in spite of me doesn’t necessarily lull me to sleep right away but, I find it’s the best way to deeply relax and soothe my body and mind when nothing else will.

Oh worry…. I love you so much..

You ceaselessly try to keep me safe and acceptable – and I really do appreciate your efforts.  But when I observe the consequences of my believing everything you say, I’m left feeling small, alone, and deprived of possibilities.    The toll I see you taking on me not just mentally, but physically as well is painful – how is chronic neck tension helpful?  I know you’re just doing what you do best but, you make me feel depleted not inspired.   Thanks so much for all that you try to do for me but, now I want to try seeing the present moment through my own eyes instead of yours.

Just lay down dammit!

It’s OK to have no energy.  It’s OK to have no desire to take action – any action.  It’s OK to be in an incubation period where all the work being done is internal.  The kind of work that only you can feel.  You might be telling yourself that this internal work is insignificant because it can’t be “seen” in the physical world.  You might be telling yourself that you’re not accomplishing enough and everyone around you is judging you for it.  But, when my body starts yelling at me to just stop and rest via strong waves of fatigue or mind numbness, I try to respect its’ request.  When I find myself getting irritable and tired after saying yes to someone else’s needs instead of taking care of my own first, I know it’s time to honor the fact that I just need to lay down for a while.  Inspired action is really what I aim for – and that always seems to pop up after I’ve rested and reflected for however long my body has deemed it necessary.  Waiting to take action until I’ve put in some honest, deep reflection time has always left me feeling present and peaceful with the results.  So, now it looks like I should stop beating myself up, and instead congratulate myself for giving in to taking that time..

My Laverne & Shirley-esque Meditation

If I’m trying to meditate during a particularly mentally chaotic moment, I sometimes imagine my thoughts as bottles passing by me on a factory conveyor belt. Every once in a while I might pick up one up to examine it but, then I remember to return it or set it aside – and then I continue to simply observe my thoughts passing by me – just like the beer bottles moved en masse past the charming faces of Penny Marshall and Cindy Williams in the intro to the sitcom Laverne & Shirley.